Have you ever ever been in a relationship with a man who you thought was the one? I imply, he was the proper bundle on the skin—tall, good-looking, stated all the fitting issues, and even attended church recurrently. He gave the impression to be every little thing you prayed for in a future husband. However then, his true colours have been revealed. You later found that he was not despatched by God however extra like by Devil. You have been deceived and ended up heartbroken, feeling like a idiot.
Sis, you aren’t alone. I, like many different girls, share the same story of a counterfeit relationship that left me offended and confused, choosing up all of the items of my shattered coronary heart. However I wish to let you know that there’s hope. God healed me and gave me knowledge to assist me keep away from it from taking place once more sooner or later. I wish to go this identical information on to you as your sister in Christ as I share extra of my private story—if you’ll let me.
What Is a Counterfeit Relationship?
First, I wish to ensure we’re on the identical web page once I discuss with the time period “counterfeit relationship.” It’s a relationship that appears good on the skin however, deep down, lacks authenticity and substance. Counterfeit companions are misleading by nature and infrequently have ulterior motives—to wreck their victims for private achieve by profiting from the weak. They seem like godly however are actually wolves in sheep’s clothes. They’re by no means actually surrendered to God.
2 Corinthians 11:14 says, “However I’m not stunned! Even Devil disguises himself as an angel of sunshine” (NLT). This scripture reveals us that not every little thing that looks like gentle actually is.
I wish to share with you three recommendations on discern a counterfeit from the actual factor in order that you’ll by no means need to be deceived or undergo the emotional ache of a counterfeit relationship once more.
Learn how to Acknowledge a Counterfeit Relationship
1. Verify the Fruit
Oftentimes, many ladies can simply grow to be head over heels for a love curiosity, which makes them fall prey to counterfeits. I used to be a hopeless romantic and a straightforward goal for mine. I used to be blinded by love and missed many pink flags. That’s why I encourage girls to make use of their heads earlier than their hearts grow to be totally invested.
Sis, guard your coronary heart and use your eyes. Have a look at the fruit in his life. Matthew 7:18 and 20 says, “A great tree can’t produce dangerous fruit, and a nasty tree can’t produce good fruit…Sure, simply as you’ll be able to determine a tree by its fruit, so you’ll be able to determine individuals by their actions” (NLT). Pay much less consideration to the phrases he says and extra consideration to what he’s really doing. Simply since you met him at church or he’s a professing Christian doesn’t imply he’s the actual deal.
What’s his character like? Does he observe by way of on his guarantees? Is he constant? Is he dwelling a life that’s submitted to the Phrase of God and His instructions? The man I dated was flaky, his tales didn’t add up, and his private life-style didn’t mirror that of a follower of Christ. His actions revealed dangerous fruit. You’ll be able to imitate gentle, however you’ll be able to’t faux fruit. So once more I say, test that fruit!
2. Hearken to Godly Counsel
One other tip I usually give is: don’t date alone. I encourage you to ask your godly neighborhood into your courting relationships. Proverbs 11:14 says, “The place there isn’t any counsel, the individuals fall; however within the multitude of counselors there may be security” (NKJV). Wolves wish to go after the loner, however should you keep inside your neighborhood, you received’t grow to be a sufferer of their schemes.
Your folks, household, and trusted individuals in your life can see what you’ll be able to’t. They’ll additionally present sensible recommendation when challenges or uncertainty come up inside the relationship. Now, I encourage you to take heed of their recommendation. My family and friends warned me concerning the man I used to be courting. Sadly, I dismissed their warnings, and I suffered enormously. There’s no level in having counsel should you keep away from their knowledge. So take heed to them as a result of they’ve your finest pursuits at coronary heart and don’t wish to see you get harm.
3. Belief God’s “No”
This one would be the hardest to do, but it surely presents the very best reward. Sadly, for me, it took some time to see the significance of trusting God’s “no.” Together with not heeding the recommendation of my pals, I additionally disregarded the warnings from God.
You see, God warned me by way of a number of desires that this man had a number of girls in his life and that he was not His finest for me. I didn’t wish to settle for it as a result of I didn’t wish to be alone. I felt like God simply needed me to be single ceaselessly. However the reality of the matter was that He had higher plans for me.
Isaiah 55:8 says, “For My ideas usually are not your ideas, nor are your methods My methods,” says the LORD. Sis, it’s important to belief God. He has your finest pursuits at coronary heart. He can see the center and secrets and techniques of the man you’re courting that you would be able to’t see. He additionally is aware of the longer term and the plans He has for you. No matter that will entail, simply know that they’re good as a result of He’s good! Trusting God’s “no” will prevent time, assets, power, psychological stress, and heartache in the long term. It won’t make sense for the time being, however trying again, you’ll understand it was all in love.
Discovering Therapeutic After a Counterfeit Relationship
It took some time, however I lastly trusted God’s “no” for that specific counterfeit. Afterward, I centered on rebuilding my relationship with God and sought therapeutic for my damaged coronary heart. I worshipped, learn the Bible, prayed, journaled what was on my coronary heart, took courses, frolicked with like-minded believers, and centered on enhancing myself for when the fitting one got here. I discovered Psalm 147:3 to be true: “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds” (NLT). God did simply that as I hung out with Him.
You could really feel such as you’ll by no means be capable of love once more after going by way of such emotional heartache, however I’m right here to let you know that it’s going to get higher. Real love is on the market. On the proper time, God introduced me my husband, Damien. When he pursued me, I noticed the godly fruit in his life, all my pals accepted of the connection, and God (and my pure father) gave us the sure to get married. Now, we live in a purposeful and joy-filled marriage with children. It was all definitely worth the journey and the wait.
I pray you discovered my story encouraging. I wish to go away you with this final thought: “It’s higher to attend on the actual factor than waste time on a counterfeit.” Sis, you are price greater than an imitation. You deserve actual, godly love.
Should you loved this weblog, I want to invite you to my FREE webinar known as “Avoiding Counterfeit Relationships,” the place I dive deeper into this subject and offer you 4 sensible steps on break away from a counterfeit relationship and obtain therapeutic as you await God’s finest. I even have a FREE reward for individuals who attend the webinar and keep to the very finish. You’ll be able to achieve entry to the webinar HERE! See you inside.
With Love,
Kenady Nash
Photograph Credit score: ©Getty Photographs/dragana991
Collectively, Kenady and Damien share content material on relationships, religion, humor, and private progress by way of YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok @DamienandKenady. Additionally they co-own Fully You 365, LLC. To study extra go to completelyyou365.com.
