Editor’s Be aware: Our June 2025 mini-series on the BCC Grace and Fact weblog addresses the subject of listening abilities in biblical counseling. On this second article, Darby Strickland explains how in instances of tragedy and deep sorrow, our presence and a ministry of listening may be the best present we will supply. In different contributions to the sequence, Joe Hussung shares learn how to use reflections as a device for listening, and Dave Deuel exhorts us to pay attention for the voice of God throughout counseling periods.
The room was silent, pierced solely by the rhythmic beeping of the hospital monitor. A father sat beside his daughter’s mattress, her physique nonetheless therapeutic from the crash. He spoke little, not for lack of phrases, however as a result of no phrases may seize what had simply occurred. He selected to remain. Every hour. Every evening. He listened as she grappled with the crash and the swirling questions. A nurse later remarked, “I don’t suppose she remembers a lot about that week, however she does know one factor: her dad by no means left her aspect.”
His presence didn’t alter her prognosis, however it achieved one thing equally very important: it anchored her to his love, reminding her that she was by no means alone.
That is the refined energy of being current. It’s not flashy or targeted on options, however it’s profoundly therapeutic. In counseling, God invitations us to keep up that very same fixed closeness. Our ministry usually begins not with phrases, however with listening.
A silent, regular, and attentive presence is important within the counseling room. Counselors convey perception, Scripture, and course. Whereas these are important to our work, they don’t seem to be at all times the very first thing required. In instances of tragedy or deep sorrow, our presence can usually be the best present we will supply. In these moments, our ministry is to pay attention.
Listening Is Embodied Grace
Listening will not be a passive act. It’s a profoundly energetic expression of affection that displays the guts of Christ. In counseling, it is among the most trustworthy methods we embody the ministry of presence. After we actually pay attention, we mirror God’s posture towards His folks.
As Psalm 116:1-2 fantastically says, “I really like the Lord, as a result of He has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. As a result of He inclined His ear to me, due to this fact I’ll name on Him so long as I reside.”
This picture of God bending down, like a father stooping to listen to his baby’s cry, serves as a reminder that listening is an act of affection. In counseling, we try to mirror that divine attentiveness, hovering close by and lending an ear. In doing so, we acknowledge the closeness of a God who listens to us.
Listening as Groundwork
We’d suppose referencing Scripture in counseling is critical for biblical ministry. Nonetheless, being current will not be an escape from the reality. It’s about how we put together an individual’s coronary heart to be open to it.
Within the preliminary periods, most counselees don’t require a theological treatise. They want room to grieve, house to course of, and somebody to witness their sorrow. As they categorical themselves—and as we pay attention—they steadily articulate their ache for the primary time. In consequence, they begin to expertise therapeutic.
Listening creates house for this delicate course of, guiding victims from confusion to lament, from silence to communion, and cultivating the soil for the seed of God’s Phrase.
Listening Restores Dignity
Ache erases folks. Betrayal, abuse, and loss can wound us deeply, making us really feel much less human and unworthy of being heard or valued. Disgrace convinces victims they’re too damaged to be seen and sinners they’re too soiled to be liked.
After we pay attention fastidiously, we subtly problem that falsehood. Listening conveys that you’re not invisible right here. Your voice is essential. Your sorrow, and even your sins, don’t place you past the attain of affection and help. It restores what disgrace tried to remove: the reassurance that you’re nonetheless seen, understood, and valued.
After we pay attention, we’re doing extra than simply practising good counseling abilities. We’re embodying Jesus. Jesus approached these whom others had marginalized. He heard the blind man’s determined cries as the gang tried to silence him. He listened to the lady on the effectively earlier than addressing her deep want. After we pay attention patiently and with out judgment, we mirror the way in which Jesus approaches those that are struggling, with curiosity and kindness.
Within the counseling room, this usually entails patiently listening to hesitant phrases with out interrupting, permitting silence to linger with out feeling the necessity to fill it, and embracing tears with out attempting to suppress them. These small acts are vital. They restore dignity and renew hope.
Listening Rebuilds Belief
When somebody enters the counseling room, they usually convey extra than simply their seen struggles. They embody tales of betrayal, misunderstanding, abandonment, and even non secular hurt. They could have been dismissed by these they trusted or silenced by these meant to guard them. Bodily current however emotionally guarded. Behind their guardedness lies concern. Concern of judgment, stress, misunderstanding, or re-traumatization.
They arrive questioning: Will this be secure? Will I be seen? Will I be believed?
For a lot of, belief is so shattered that even hoping feels dangerous. Their experiences have led them to anticipate hurt slightly than help, and their prayers could have fallen silent. Their notion of God’s faithfulness could also be fragmented and unclear. And if we’re trustworthy, some sit with the deep query: Can I belief God once more, if I can’t even belief folks?
In these moments, our function as counselors is to chorus from speeding them towards progress or prescribing therapeutic steps. We purpose to create an area the place belief can flourish anew. That happens not by way of technique or rationalization, however by way of presence. By listening.
Listening declares, I see you. I received’t hurry you. I received’t belittle you. I’ll stroll with you, not speak over you.You now not must bear your story alone. Listening is a strong strategy to rebuild belief.
After we pay attention, we do extra than simply obtain info. We assist the counselee rediscover a sense that many haven’t skilled in a very long time: a way of refuge. I’m being heard. I’m not alone.
Listening Displays Christ
Jesus is a superb listener. “The eyes of the Lord are towards the righteous and His ears towards their cry” (Ps. 34:15). Within the Gospels, He constantly paused to hearken to the cries of the blind, the struggling, the grieving, and the determined. He by no means rushed to keep away from ache. He by no means silenced struggling. His compassion met folks the place they had been, not the place they “ought to” be.
After we pay attention as counselors, we mirror this lovely facet of Christ. Our attentive presence turns into a dwelling echo of His quiet testimony that reassures, “You aren’t alone.” In time, our presence turns into a bridge that lightly factors the counselee towards the presence of the Savior Himself.
Listening Prepares the Coronary heart for Fact
You can not successfully minister to what you can not see. Listening is step one to understanding. It brings us shut sufficient to know the depths of somebody’s sorrow. Since we exist within the stress of what has already occurred and what’s but to return, the place full therapeutic remains to be on the horizon, we should talk the reality with endurance. Timing is essential. A well-aimed fact spoken too early can bruise as an alternative of bless.
In Luke 8:15, Jesus likens hearts to soil. Some are crushed, whereas others are both shallow or overgrown. Nonetheless, some are ripe and tender. Listening cultivates the guts’s soil, permitting the Phrase to take root. We’re not concealing the reality. We’re diligently planting it.
Listening Is an Act of Religion
Listening entails inserting our belief within the Lord on behalf of our counselee. It serves as a silent affirmation that God is already at work, even when now we have but to acknowledge it. It says, “I don’t want to repair this proper now, as a result of I imagine the Spirit is right here.” On this method, listening turns into how we wait on the Lord collectively.
Listening is a sacred and highly effective type of care. In a fast-paced tradition obsessive about options, it reminds us of the sluggish energy of affection. It anchors us in Christ’s regular grace and assures the sufferer: You aren’t alone. God is close to, therapeutic, sustaining, and drawing shut in methods we could not at all times see, however we will at all times belief.
So don’t underestimate the ability of a listening ear. Keep shut, pay attention lengthy, and converse the reality when the second is true. In doing so, you mirror the guts of your Savior. The One who listens to His folks’s cries, walks beside them within the valley, and weeps with those that mourn.
Questions for Reflection
- When have you ever felt the urge to talk too quickly throughout a counseling session? Suppose again to a time once you felt pressured to supply solutions or theological insights shortly. What drove that impulse? How may a slower, extra attentive strategy have higher served the individual in entrance of you?
- How does Jesus’ strategy to listening affect the way in which you understand tales of grief or sin? Are there instances once you pay attention as if you happen to had been a savior or a fixer?
- How has the attentive listening of somebody influenced your religion or private progress? How may that have an effect on the way in which you present help to others?
- What helps you stay emotionally current for somebody who’s in deep ache? Efficient listening requires endurance, empathy, and humility. What non secular practices or beliefs enable you keep grounded whereas supporting others of their sorrow?
