HomeCounselingBiblical Counseling Coalition | How I Cope with My...

Biblical Counseling Coalition | How I Cope with My Hardest Counselee


He walked in and fell into the brown chair within the nook of my workplace–slouching, declaring loudly by his physique language that he didn’t wish to be there. The glazed-over look in his eye was screaming of an exasperated life. His hand caught his brow because it fell ahead, holding his forehead together with some contempt for having to be there once more.

He had his Bible and the most recent studying project with him. His journal pages appeared worn, and his pen was visibly low on ink. Clearly, he had struggled with the assignments from the final session and was sending non-verbal cues stating that the subject at hand wouldn’t be welcomed.

So, I began with small discuss–musing concerning the weight of the morning site visitors, child duties, workload, and climate patterns. I began mild in hopes of participating his soul with actual work later, hoping that trite subjects would make wading into the deep finish of soul work extra bearable.

After some lengthy pregnant pauses and deep sighs, the silence of my workplace was damaged with this straightforward prayer: Pricey God, it’s me once more…. my hardest counselee. Please assist

Coming Face to Face with Myself

I’ve recommended lots of of individuals, however I stay my hardest counselee.

I don’t pay attention properly.

I grumble usually.

I do know my sins and failures greater than any of my counselees.

I’m good at giving sly excuses for not following by way of.

I’m damaged.

That’s proper–whilst a pastor and counselor–I’m a damaged man. I sin and fail like anybody else. I’m the worst sinner I do know as a result of I do know my sin probably the most (1 Tim. 1:5).

So, what are some things I need to do to counsel myself in a approach that pleases the Lord? The Bible says to “hold watch over your self first” (Acts 20:28)—however how? Listed below are a number of actions I take to counsel myself properly.

I overview the gospel extra completely.

I do know the gospel of Jesus Christ. In it, I dwell, transfer, and discover my being (Acts 17:28). Nevertheless, when my feelings or ideas appear to be getting the higher of me, it is actually because I’m not rehearsing the gospel to myself. I’m not reminding myself of who I actually am in Christ and the forgiveness and charm which are accessible to me.

It’s simple to get caught up in life’s struggles and difficulties, inflicting us to overlook our identification as a beloved baby of God. We frequently fall brief and make errors, however we should keep in mind that it’s by way of these imperfections that God’s grace shines even brighter. Our brokenness permits us to expertise the fullness of God’s love and mercy; by way of this brokenness, we are able to certainly discover therapeutic and Christlike development.

Milton Vincent’s Gospel Primer or Paul David Tripp’s My Coronary heart Cries Out helps me bear in mind and meditate on the reality of Christ and His accomplished work in my life. I even have a listing of key passages within the New Testomony epistles, resembling Romans, Ephesians, and Hebrews, that inform me what the gospel is and what Christ did for me. I meditate on these passages and preach the excellent news to my weary soul.

I meditate extra methodically.

Meditation on God’s Phrase is at all times necessary (Ps. 119:15), however it’s by no means extra essential than when my brokenness is most felt. Throughout these occasions, I create house to take a seat and meditate on Scripture. I learn a verse or passage slowly and prayerfully, permitting it to sink deep into my coronary heart. I ask the Holy Spirit to light up the reality of God’s Phrase in my life and reveal areas the place I might have correction or development.

I additionally use my Psalter Bible or apps that help with meditation, resembling Dwell. I learn a passage of Scripture after which sit nonetheless, prayerfully mulling it over and ingesting it in my coronary heart. I usually write down my ideas and reflections in my journal, permitting for a deeper processing of God’s Phrase.

I pray extra fervently.

Because the saying goes, prayer modifications issues. And when coping with our brokenness and struggles, prayer modifications me. After I pray extra fervently throughout these occasions, pouring out my coronary heart to God and laying all my burdens at His toes, I see that change. Praying for a renewed sense of religion and belief in God’s plan and goal for my life and my calling to serve Him by serving others stirs my coronary heart for what God has for me.

Praying aloud may be particularly highly effective throughout these occasions, because it helps to solidify the phrases and ideas in my thoughts and coronary heart. I am going to a vacant room within the church or an open counseling room, open my Bible to hope Scripture, and actually communicate my prayers out loud. It seems like my very own session with the Lord, completely different from my ordinary quiet time chair at dwelling.

I transfer issues in my schedule for extra time in prayer and research.

When overwhelmed with my struggles and brokenness, it may be simple to push apart time for praying and finding out God’s Phrase. However I’ve realized that that is once I want these practices probably the most. So, I deliberately make room in my schedule for extra time devoted to prayer, Bible studying, and theological research.

I could get up earlier or keep up later to spend uninterrupted time with God. Typically, I block time on my schedule throughout the day or take my lunch break simply to learn and journal. I give myself a change and development plan, simply as I do for my counselees, and observe what I’ve gotten completed and what I nonetheless have to do. I don’t at all times need to do it, however I do know I would like it.

I deliver different trusted voices nearer.

Along with these non-public practices, I additionally be sure to herald different trusted voices nearer. This may embrace assembly with a mentor or pal who has walked by way of comparable struggles and may provide clever counsel and encouragement. Vulnerability is essential. As I permit others to know what I’m coping with in my very own coronary heart, I discover that they’ll provide the knowledge that I would like and prayerful help that I can’t dwell with out.

This has included bi-weekly cellphone calls with my biblical counselor, weekly prayer time calls with a detailed pal on Fridays, and including one other brother in Christ to my “favorites” on my cellphone so I can textual content him usually when I’m struggling. Isolation is the antithesis of the Christian life—we have been made for group.

Dealing with our brokenness generally is a difficult and humbling expertise. However as we flip to God in prayer, meditation on His Phrase, and search help from trusted voices, we are able to discover therapeutic and development in Christ.

Within the quiet moments with the Holy Spirit and the uncooked encounters with my frailties, I’ve come to grasp that the trail towards therapeutic and wholeness is intricately woven by way of the threads of vulnerability, grace, and continued reliance on God. Accepting my brokenness has paradoxically turn out to be the channel by way of which God’s energy is most vividly displayed in my life. It’s a humbling reminder that in my weak spot, His energy is perfected.

This journey, marked by moments of each battle and readability, jogs my memory each day of the profound magnificence present in surrendering utterly to God’s grace. The teachings realized within the trenches of private discipleship aren’t only for me but additionally to be shared with these I counsel, providing them a glimpse of hope that transformation is feasible in Christ.

Questions for Reflection

  1. How will you change your schedule to permit for extra time to are inclined to your soul?
  2. What brokenness in your individual life are you going through or coping with biblically?
  3. Who might you share your burdens with that would pray for you and encourage you in your stroll with Christ?