Pricey Mother and father,
Let me give you a hearty congratulations in your son or daughter’s engagement. Lord prepared, within the coming 12 months, God will grant your little one the great reward of marriage. It’s actually not one thing to take as a right. Many singles spend years needing marriage however by no means discover a partner.
I’m scripting this letter with the belief that you simply’re not a Christian and your son or daughter is a born-again believer. Chances are you’ll not consider the Bible is true and Jesus is the Savior of sinners, however they do. Chances are you’ll not care what God thinks, however they do.
As a pastor, let me supply a number of ideas that may enable you to perceive a few of your little one’s wishes for his or her engagement and wedding ceremony day.
On Their Need for a Shorter Engagement
A standard stress that develops between mother and father (who usually are not Christians) and younger Christian {couples} is the need for shorter engagements. The Bible teaches that intercourse is a present for a married couple and that singles ought to keep pure earlier than the Lord. You most likely don’t agree. Actually, you would possibly discover this notion ridiculous. However your son and daughter see the Bible as God’s Phrase, and they also observe what God tells them to do.
The tradition mocks Christians for preserving themselves for marriage. However your little one’s church group encourages them to proceed to battle for purity, even up till their wedding ceremony day. As a pastor, {couples} confess to me their struggles to remain pure in singleness and engagement, and their wishes for intercourse. A one- or two-year engagement is a very long time to attend to have intercourse with each other. So, it makes a whole lot of sense {that a} Christian couple retains their engagement brief.
But it surely’s about extra than simply intercourse. Your son or daughter and their fiancée love each other, and so they consider life will likely be higher collectively. They’re starting a lifetime of journey. Are you able to blame them for eager to get began sooner relatively than later?
The marriage trade makes it troublesome to plan a shorter engagement. It’s difficult to guide a marriage venue or reception web site inside a good timeframe. {Couples} (who aren’t Christians) generally plan out longer engagements. Why? As a result of they haven’t any incentive to shorten it. Many dwell with each other and have intercourse lengthy earlier than their wedding ceremony day. They take pleasure in all of the privileges of marriage previous to getting married. Nevertheless, your Christian son or daughter gained’t take the privileges of marriage now. They’ll wait till their wedding ceremony.
You may not agree with any of this. I get it. You may have a special opinion on these issues. Nonetheless, I need you to at the least perceive, from the vantage level of a born-again Christian pastor, why your son or daughter doesn’t desire a lengthy engagement.
I’ll admit to you: a brief engagement is usually not factor.
- Possibly they had been rash and didn’t take the time to get to know each other, kind by deeper points, and get accountability from individuals of their church group.
- Possibly they haven’t established monetary independence, and so they’re not prepared to face on their very own two toes but.
- Possibly they’ve received vital points—like an dependancy or an consuming dysfunction—that ought to be sorted by earlier than marriage.
- Possibly they’re so immature that they will’t handle their very own life, not to mention take accountability for an additional individual.
There might be good causes so that you can be involved not solely in regards to the engagement however in regards to the relationship itself. Chances are you’ll be studying this paragraph and considering, “See! I used to be proper! I informed them to not do it!”
Nonetheless, in the event that they’ve fastidiously and thoughtfully handled every part I listed within the earlier paragraph, and so they desire a brief engagement, I’d encourage you to not stand of their means.
On Their Need for a Christ-Centered Ceremony
Your Christian son or daughter believes that God made marriage. A marriage is a joyous event the place God offers a husband and spouse to at least one one other. So, your little one wishes to honor God with their wedding ceremony ceremony.
God, the Father, despatched His Son to die for sinners. Jesus was a substitute within the place of everybody who would flip from their sins and belief in Him. That is the gospel—the excellent news of Jesus Christ. Jesus is the Savior of the world and the one hope for sinners.
Your son or daughter not solely believes the gospel, however they’ve staked their life on it. So, it shouldn’t shock you that they’ll weave the gospel all through their wedding ceremony ceremony. Their need is to include Scripture readings, hymns, and prayers into their wedding ceremony ceremony. The pastor would possibly even do a brief devotional about Jesus, the groom, and the church, His bride.
Let’s say your son or daughter rescued a stranger who was drowning in a river, and it was reported on the native information. Your little one turns into extremely revered within the eyes of your neighbors and turns into a neighborhood hero. However they didn’t inform you. You’re stunned: “I’m their guardian! Why wouldn’t they inform me such excellent news? Why do all my neighbors know however I don’t?”
You little one believes the gospel is the greatest information they’ve to supply. Their wedding ceremony day is a chance to share it with family and friends. In the event that they genuinely consider they’ve received excellent news, you wouldn’t need them to cover it, would you? If different individuals already knew about it, and also you didn’t, you’d be offended they didn’t inform you, too, proper? In spite of everything, you’re their guardian!
Chances are you’ll not agree with the gospel, however they do. Chances are you’ll not care about Jesus and the story of what Jesus did, however they do. So, be sort to them, and allow them to share their excellent news. Don’t be stunned how a lot it issues to them.
The Finish of the Matter
You like your son or daughter. You’re trying ahead to their wedding ceremony day. It’s one thing you’ve hoped for. And it’ll come quickly. My prayer is that you simply’ll transfer ahead with better understanding and kindness towards your little one, and also you’ll take pleasure in their wedding ceremony day as among the finest days of your life. You’ll discover nice pleasure in it. I belief that God will do great issues on that day, as your little one enters into the good journey of marriage.
Questions for Reflection
- You may not agree along with your Christian son or daughter, however are you prepared for them to share their excellent news on probably the most necessary days of their life?
- Even when you don’t agree, can you’re employed alongside your son or daughter to make their wedding ceremony day among the finest days of their life?
- Have you ever ever thought of the gospel for your self? What stops you from believing it and trusting in Jesus?
