HomeCounselingBiblical Counseling Coalition | Mortifying Our Need: Identical-Intercourse Attraction

Biblical Counseling Coalition | Mortifying Our Need: Identical-Intercourse Attraction


Editor’s Notice: Our October 2025 mini-series on the BCC Grace and Reality weblog addresses the subject of believers who wrestle with same-sex attraction. On this first article, Keith Evans gives a biblical name to handle same-sex attraction on the root by repenting not solely of actions however of needs. In different contributions to the collection, Ellen Dykas examines the lure of romanticized friendships between ladies, and Kyle Johnston shares a biblical perspective on polymorphic needs.

A younger man as soon as advised me, “I by no means selected to really feel this fashion. These sights appear to have at all times been a part of my life.” His honesty captures what so many expertise—same-sex attraction typically feels unchosen, even pure. However after we look to Scripture, we uncover even that which can really feel pure will not be at all times good.

The Bible tells us that wanting one thing God forbids will not be innocent. It’s like a spark that grows into a hearth if left unattended. If we solely take care of outward habits—making an attempt to not “act out”—we’re stepping in too late. God calls us to handle the deeper pulls of the guts.

Is Attraction Innocent Till Acted Upon?

Some imagine temptation solely turns into sin when acted upon. However James 1 tells us one thing sobering:

“Every particular person is tempted when he’s lured and enticed by his personal need. Then need when it has conceived offers delivery to sin, and sin when it’s totally grown brings forth demise” (James 1:14-15).

The issue will not be solely after we “give in.” The pull itself, when it runs in a sinful path, is already bent away from God’s good design. Jesus makes the identical level in Matthew 5—wanting with lust is already adultery of the guts.

The Bible is obvious: holy longings are good; unholy longings are usually not impartial. That’s why God calls us not merely to withstand habits however to convey even the hidden pulls of the guts underneath His Lordship.

Naming Sin Actually

It will probably really feel heavy to confess, This attraction itself is incorrect.” However naming sin truthfully is definitely releasing and a step in a constructive path. Once we cease calling it impartial and begin calling it what it’s, we will convey it to Christ in repentance, repenting for the inclination itself. Solely then can we expertise the grace that not solely forgives but in addition transforms.

Sinful pulls are usually not a part of your God-given id. They’re a part of the Fall. They aren’t who you really are in Christ.

However What If It Doesn’t Really feel Like a Selection?

Many really feel, “I by no means picked these sights.” That’s true of so lots of our feelings—we don’t at all times select them, or really feel like we selected them. However Scripture teaches that, even when we don’t consciously select the start line, we’re liable for how we reply.

Within the close to time period, our longings could really feel overwhelming and outdoors our management. But by God’s grace, within the mid-term, we will start retraining our hearts—studying to say no to sinful pulls and to set our minds on what is nice. And within the long term, because the Spirit renews, we will domesticate godly affections to the purpose that we now not need what we as soon as discovered engaging and “proper.”

That is the sluggish, hopeful, and progressive work of sanctification. God not solely forgives our sins; He alters our needs over time.

Gods Good Design

Romans 1 describes same-sex attraction as “opposite to nature.” God’s design is obvious: one man, one girl, in covenant marriage. That doesn’t imply everybody is known as to marriage, but it surely does imply each Christian is known as to holiness—whether or not in chastity or in a trustworthy expression of covenant love.

The purpose is to not exchange one lust with one other (“gay to heterosexual”), however to switch lust with holiness. God calls us to stroll in purity, whether or not single or married, with needs aligned to His good design.

Conclusion: Hope in Christ

So how will we battle same-sex attraction? By naming it truthfully, bringing it earlier than God, and asking Him to vary not solely what we do however what we wish, repenting even of our longings. The Christian life will not be about making peace with sinful pulls however crucifying them and rising in holy affection.

The excellent news? Christ not solely forgives sinful actions however redeems sinful sights. In Him, we discover the facility to vary—not in a single day, however over a lifetime—because the Spirit reshapes our cravings to like what is nice, pure, holy, and proper.

Questions for Reflection

  1. How do you sometimes view need—as morally impartial, or as one thing that may be inherently sinful?
  2. What does it imply to “identify sin truthfully”? Why would possibly naming sinful need really feel heavy, and the way can it even be releasing?
  3. What fact from Scripture helps you bear in mind who you might be in Christ once you really feel pulled by previous or sinful patterns of need?